Isles of blood Match report

With the Isles of blood out now, Ciaran and myself had a game on Saturday with him as High elves and me as Skaven to seee just who would win the battle for these isles if it was taken to a pitch. I'll let the commentators tell you the result.


-----------------------
-----------------------


Jim: Hello match fans, today we’ve got a real treat for you.

Bob: That’s right Jim. Today we have a legendary match in the making..

Jim: when you’ve lived as long as I have Bob that’s quite a statement to make

Bob: Sheesh Jim, not all of us are Vampires you know.

Jim: right right I keep forgetting that part. Well Bob as I was saying today we’re going to see the Isle of blood grudge match. The high elves vs the skaven horde...

Bob: could be a dirty game Jim

Jim: right you are, let’s take a look at the stats bob.

The skaven after looking for players from the army have got the weediest line rats possible, but they managed to grab 2 of the stronger storm vermin and oh... yes it is... they also managed to swipe 4 of the gutter runner assassins and what looks like a semi accurate rat.. must be the thrower.

Watching the recruitment process for this team got a chuckle from me bob you know

Bob: I’d believe it you know the skaven are well documented for their picking on the smaller ones, so the bigger ones shove their way to the back and the smaller ones to the front.

Jim: On to the high elves...

After so many volunteers they managed to narrow it down to their best players, I see 6 solid linesmen, 2 phoenix warriors, 2 lion warriors, a silver helm rider dismounted and taking up the throwing position. I’d say their twice as likely to reroll a failure into a success and with the extra fans watching due to their army being bigger...

Bob: more elves than skaven?

Jim: Yes bob, the majority of the skaven are using this distraction to flee back into the tunnel to avoid the elves.

Bob: you know the elves and I don’t get along...

Jim: we know Bob, you skinned alive my colleague from elf magazine...

Bob: hey, that’s what you get for putting an elf next to an ogre... it’s just instinct

Jim: yes... well we have the number sin, the skaven have 10,000 spectators to the elves 7,000.

Bob: looks like their read for the kick off Jim, let’s go live to the match coverage.

Jim: And its kicked off, it’s a quick snap but the ball scatters out of play and is tossed back to the thrower. Meanwhile his friends bash some skaven skulls. The very first block is done... and... Oh yes Bob, it’s a casualty not a good start. But the elves have to concentrate and turn a possible failure into a success

Bob: yeah Jim we all saw how they rerolled luck to get what they needed.
Jim: the skaven reply by KOing an elf linesman, putting the elves on the back foot, one of the elven Blitzer’s almost goes down while dodging, and a gutter runner is pushed back to make room for their assault down the field. But oh ho! A catcher goes down while trying to get into room. This could get messy.

The rats dive on the chance to sack the ball with a line rat dodging into harder and harder places, and get the ball carrier down. Things look good for the rats.

The elves respond by putting a gutter runner down and are promptly out of luck when a catcher puts himself and another gutter runner on the floor but the gutter runner goes off with a serious injury.

Bob: he’ll be feeling that in the morning

Jim: A gutter runner takes the distraction chance to dive into the ball square but fumbles it behind himself.

The elves push the gutter runner off the field where he is nicely surfed back to his dugout

Bob: yuck! In my day the crowd would tear the player apart even if they were from the team they supported... this show of compassion for your own team sickens me

Jim: yes Bob... The elvs push down the flank and grab the ball.... rush it to a catcher, hand off and clear space... and it’s a touchdown!

Bob: oh that snot good Jim the Isle of blood box set has just arrived the crowd has gone into a riot to get a look. It looks like fights are breaking out about which starter army is the best choice. The Ref is letting the time go on.

Jim: let’s go get a bite to eat Bob while they work it out

Bob: I hope you’re not talking about grabbing a few of the knocked out supporters to drink their blood Jim...

<Sounds of Bob and Jim cracking skulls as they walk happily through the rioting crowd>


Jim: And we’re back sports fans, the riot lasted for a full 3 turns meaning this is now turn 7.

Bob: the Rats will really be hard pressed to get something back this late in the half.

Jim: and there’s the kickoff whistle!

Bob: CHHHARRRGGE!

Jim: I don’t think they can hear you Bob

Bob: Woops! Sorry old player habit

Jim: The skaven are surging forward on the near flank while the thrower races back deep to grab the ball... They have two gutter runners in range and a storm vermin, the elves will need to do something.

The elves pile into the forward skaven, blitzing a gutter runner who goes down and they mark the rest of the rats... its going down to this final turn.

Bob: Here they go Jim, the skaven thrower has run forward and even went for it (2+ roll) to hand the ball off to a line rat (3+) that turns and races off to the storm vermin and gutter runner on the near flank. By the time he gets there the storm vermin has cleared the elves form around then and the ball is quickly passed (3+) to the gutter runner, its good and it’s caught! (2+) and the gutter runner races off to score... TOUCHDOWN!

Jim: right Bob, that equals the score and we go into the half time break. The Ko’d elves don’t come back and the teams are beginning the game with only 10 men a side.

Tune in Viewers for the second half in this exciting grudge match for control of the Isles of blood!

Jim: and we’re back...

Bob: Yes Jim, that was one hell of a first half, one hell of a game, one hell of a...

Jim: we get the idea Bob...

Jim: And the teams are about to kick off... Oh but what’s this! A fan has thrown a rock at one of the high elves stunning him, the skaven race off making the best of this but a gutter runner slips and goes down... not good for the rats.

The elves move up to cover the line of scrimmage but a line rat and storm vermin have broken through and are only feet away from the high elves end zone! The gutter runner picks up the ball and throws!! And it lips out of his hand...

Bob: What! I thought this was two teams of trained professionals Jim! He should be taken off the pitch for that!

Jim: right you are Bob, the elves take advantage and block some rats, a gutter runner goes down and is stunned and a line rat is KO’d. But wait! The elves lift the ball and run it forward... but it’s a fumble when handed off and a gutter runner sees his chance... he fails once, he fails twice...

Bob: Boom rat falls over. Seems they can’t stay on their feet even when not being hit!

Jim: both sides continue to bash around the ball, the elves trying to pick it up and failing then a gutter runner tries and fumbles, the skaven thrower goes down and looks to be missing the rest of the game.

A storm vermin knocks himself out; things are looking bleak for the rats Bob.

Bob: more rats are pounded down and more gutter runners fall over without being touched! You’d swear they lived in Italy Jim.

Jim: That’s true Bob, the rats if not going down are being pushed off the field. I just saw a gutter runner get put into the crowd and luckily he escaped before being cooked alive, by the skaven fans no less!

The elves get the ball and race off towards the end zone. The skaven are powerless to stop him, and he.. yes he... dances and wastes the clock before walking in for a touchdown!!!

Elves win Bob Elves win!

Bob: WHAT! how... grreagh!

Jim: careful sports fans, it seems Bob’s off to go elf mashing, I can only assume he’d placed a bet on the rats for today.

...

Jim: so from Bob and myself thanks for watching the High Elves win against the Skaven 2-1 and make sure you stay tuned to see the skaven forces leaving the Isle.

< Sounds of Bob crunching skaven and elves alike can be heard outside>

Jim: better go sports fans, I smell a takeaway dinner outside. Mmm skaven